Make Every Word Count by Stephen Wilber

Make every word count - or as Strunk and White famously advised in The Elements of Style, "Omit needless words."

Consider this sentence: "Due to the fact that we ran out of gas, we were two hours late for our meeting."

Can you identify the needless words? (My first version of the previous sentence read, "Can you identify the words that were used needlessly?")

Look again. The sentence contains a phrase that, as reported by E. B. White, made his former college professor William Strunk "quiver with revulsion."

Although your reaction may not be as visceral as Professor Strunk's, I suspect you can identify the non-functioning words. To make every word count, replace the wordy phrase due to the fact that with the word because.

How would you revise the following sentence?

"Due to the fact that our profits remained flat in the third quarter, the board reduced our CEO's salary by $50 million and used those dollars to increase the salary of our 500 account managers by $100,000 each."

  

The phrase the fact that can almost always be replaced with a simple but useful word: because. So too can the phrases based on the fact that, in view of the fact that, and owing to the fact that. Similarly, the phrase in spite of the fact that can be replaced with although or even though.

With these patterns of wordiness in mind, how would you condense these three sentences?

1. "Based on the fact that I love snow, I'm eager for winter to come."

2. "Many people choose to live in Minnesota in spite of the fact that they don't like snow or cold weather."

3. "In view of the fact that it snows every winter in Minnesota, and usually in significant quantities, I'm perplexed by their decision to live here."

Do your revisions look like this?

1. "Because I love snow, I'm eager for winter to come."

2. "Many people choose to live in Minnesota even though they don't like snow or cold weather."

3. "Because it snows every winter in Minnesota, and usually in significant quantities, I'm perplexed by their decision to live here."

By the way, if you were taught it's incorrect to begin a sentence with because, you were misled. Beginning a sentence with because is perfectly acceptable as long as you complete the sentence -- that is, as long as you don't put a period after the dependent because clause and create a sentence fragment.